We all have had experiences with certain types of people. For lack of a better label, I'm going to call them "bad friends." Not that they have done anything particularly awful to us. They just aren't really what you could call a true friend. In most of these cases, they are the people that call you their friend, but you cannot really see them as more than an acquaintance. It's really about how strong your relationship is. How deep is your friendship? These relationships with "bad friends" tend to be very one-sided. We have no real reason to break off the friendship, nor do we have any real reason to keep the friendship. These are the friends who only call on you when they have a problem or need some help. These are the friends that when you do meet with them, you have to do what they want to do, talk about things that interest them, or talk about/do things that they think you are into even if you aren't really into them. They aren't bad people. They are just selfish and tend not to listen. They get way more out of the relationship than you ever do.
These relationships tend to put us in a difficult position. We could tell them how we feel, but we know it isn't worth it. Either they won't hear a word you say, or they will take what you say wrong. Both cases are the result of the same thing. They are self-centered. They analyze what you say only in terms of how it affects themselves. So, what do we do? Generally, we just make do and hope they don't call. We try to focus on their good qualities. We make excuses for them. "They're really not a bad person. They honestly think they are doing the right thing. It's just the way they are." I'm sure we've all said things to ourselves or others like: "Why do they think we are such good friends? They don't know anything about me. We have nothing in common."
Now that you have a specific person or at least an image of this particular type of "bad friend" in your head, I have some bad news. When it comes to our relationships with God, we are the "bad friends." Do we try to understand God? Do we try to strengthen our relationship with God? Do we only call on God when we need help? Do we listen to God? Do we want God to be involved in things we like? Do we get involved in what God would like? Do we analyze what we hear from God in terms of how it affects us?
Come on, we're not really bad people. We are doing what we honestly think is the right thing. It's just the way we are. Society made us this way. It's just how we were raised. It's not our fault. We aren't making excuses for them any more. We are making them for ourselves. We put God in that difficult position. God could and often does put things in our lives to try to get us to listen. We don't listen. God really doesn't have a reason to break off our relationship, nor does God have solid reason to put effort into it. We are the "bad friends."
It's an odd thing to think about. What God wants out of our relationship isn't that complicated. It is quite difficult, but it's not complicated. The hardest thing in this world to do is to learn to love. Once you get the hang of it...no, once you understand the truth of it, loving isn't that hard. I have to bring up "the truth of love" because too many people mistake love for romance, lust, obsession, greed, infatuation, and so forth and so on. There is this beautiful feeling that many people never open themselves to. There is this beautiful feeling that many people are too shut off to experience. I have to assume that parents have had this feeling. I'm not a parent so I have not felt it in this circumstance, but I can't see it not being there for them. It is this indescribable feeling. Sometimes it is just a moment. It is definitely not a thing that you can set up. It just happens. It is this feeling of balancing on the tip of a needle. All emotions are surrounding you. Falling one way leads to pain. Falling another leads to joy. One way is that mixed happiness with tears. One way is that frustration that brings laughter. Every angle is a different emotion. Some are simple, some are complex, but every shade is represented. There should be massive amounts of tension as you balance there on top of the needle. There isn't though. It is a moment of absolute peace and comfort. All the emotions surrounding you are accepted as one. Everything could end right then and there. It is the peace of love. It is unconditionally loving and being loved unconditionally at the same moment. It is truth. It is love. It is peace. It is joy. It is God.
Pure love, true love, God's love is something that we only experience fully a few times in our lives. It is what we should be striving for every day though. It's what God asks of us. Love: pure, simple and true. Love God. Love our neighbors. Love ourselves. Let's stop being a bad friend to ourselves. Let's stop being a bad friend to others. Let's stop being a bad friend to God. Love cannot be explained but it can be understood. Let's open ourselves to Love.
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