So Few Words So Much Pain

    I live in a world of greys. Ooo look out, he's getting moody. No. I'm not. Those are not the greys I am referring to. I could just as easily said I live in a world full of colors. The world of colors concept is a bit harder for people to grasp. White light is made up of all the colors. Black pigment is made up of all the colors. Therefore all the colors are present and nothing is truly black or white. That's just brushing over the concept very quickly. It is so much easier for people to grasp the concept of the grey scale with black and white on either end. Sometimes, we have to take things down to their simplest levels to really understand them.
    There can be problems breaking things down to their simplest levels however. Those problems generally arise when people break things down to their own view of what the simplest levels are. What makes the situation all the stickier is the fact that we all can only truly view the world from our personal perspective. Therefore our views of the world are going to be inherently self centric. Our society does nothing to help the situation. We are constantly bombarded with imagery and words telling us how we should be, what we should wear, or even what we should think. Class distinction is prevalent everywhere. It's just a matter of changing the labels in each situation. The struggles aren't just between the wealthy, the middle class, and the poor. We have the leaders, their assistants, and the citizenry. We have the technocrats, the rebels, and the sheep. Pick your situation and your labels, and you'll find class distinction.
    Election times are always ripe with class distinctions. They are filled to overflowing with supposed black or white choices. You are with us, or you are against us. Disagree with one point and obviously you must disagree with all the other points as well. Let the propaganda, the word-smithing, the spinning, the manipulations, the partial truths, and the outright lies begin.
    Politics is but one place where we see this sort of thing. Religions are filled with it. No, let me rephrase that. There are those who fill religions with those sorts of thing. This, I find to be one of the sickest twisting of truth there is. Politics, sure go ahead. We know you are all liars and cheats. Even if you aren't, you are according to your opponents. Religions though...seriously folks. If you are going to take a black or white stance on anything religious, particularly whose beliefs are correct, you have missed the fucking point. Sorry to put that crudely like that, but religious bigotry is the most idiotic of all bigotry.
    I am drifting from my point. We are constantly faced with choices and decisions. We are constantly forced to face reality or accept the fictions. Because of this, we come to the center of it all. Why is it that the most painful things to say to ourselves or anyone else are always so few in words? An entire tirade aimed at someone will not equal the pain they will feel should they ever have to say these small sentences. I guess this comes back to breaking things down to their simplest forms. I guess this comes back to the colors and greys as well. The supposedly black pain leads to the freeing whiteness. Too complex? Then let's take it to its simplest form. We always feel a bit better after a good cry. Pain and freedom. Colors and greys. It is not black tears and white relief.
    So we find ourselves the focus of much pain from 3 or 4 words. It is no wonder we run and hide from having to say these words. It is no wonder we avoid this pain. It is however an incredibly wonder that we keep ourselves from the freedom and joy that comes afterwards. Just what are these 3 or 4 words? What are these small sentences I am going on about?
    I'm sorry.
    I was wrong.
    I didn't know.
    I never thought of that.
    How was I so blind?
    It's not about me.
    The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.
    Ok so that last one was particularly nerdy and quite longer than the others. The point is that these and countless other admittances cause us so much pain that we seem to avoid them at all costs. Why though, why are they so powerful and painful? They can destroy our views of heroes. They can shake the very foundations of how we were raised. They force us out of ourselves. More than anything, I think no one wants to admit that a situation or even the world is not exactly how they perceive it. It is scary to think that our reality is not necessary the reality.
    I'm reminded of the part in The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, when Peter and Susan go to the Professor in regards to their sister "telling stories." There they stand, on the verge. There they are in one of those situations where they can either "stick by their whatevers" or prepare themselves to say one of those little sentences. The Professor uses a bit of logic and basically gets Peter and Susan to see that there may be a bit more to their realities than they think. Effectively saying since Lucy isn't known to be a liar and since she is holding onto her convictions without wavering, maybe they should at the very least consider what she is saying.
    Ultimately the choice was theirs, just like is ours. Most times we aren't lucky enough to be presented with something as blatant and undeniable as landing in a different world. But then again, each time we are faced with a decision, aren't we really faced with the choice between this world and a slightly different one? Doesn't the journey from the pain of admittance to the freedom afterwards always leave us in a "different world?"
    If I took a red apple and painted half of it green (or conversely a green apple and painted half red), then placed it between two people, what color is the apple? One side says red. One side says green. They each think they are right and the other is wrong. Depending on how they were raised, each one might even have as their ideal of an apple as it being red or green. Depending on the personalities, they might get into a ridiculously heated argument over the color of the apple. It seems so simple when put into terms like this. The thing though that gets me is that I feel like most people would say the only solution is to show each the other side of the apple. Generally this is based on the idea of "if only they could see my side they would know that they are wrong." Not many would stop to think to turn the apple a mere 90 degrees. That would allow a person a peek at the other side. If they can see a little bit of the other side, they will have more information than before. It will be information in their reality. Hell, if 90 degrees is too much, 45 degrees would have the same effect. The point is that just seeing even the slightest bit of "the other side" can have major effects.
    Of course, even with new information, a person may not wish to face the little sentences. They may choose to alter their view of reality to counter whatever they just saw. They may choose their world and not a slightly or vastly different one. I pity these people. Not in some "oh look at me being all high and mighty" way. I pity them the freedom they pass on. The world is not black and white. Nothing should be a "you are either with me or against me" scenario. Oh and to those who might liken these thoughts to the old adage "there are two sides to every coin," I say close but no cigar. Actually, if I am to be totally honest here, and I see no reason not to be, I don't say close but no cigar. "There are two sides to every coin?" Bullshit! There is the edge as well. There is always the edge. No matter how black or white you think something is. Remember there is always the edge. There is always the "dividing line" that is neither side. I guess my edge or dividing line is just bigger than my sides.
    I say all of this with conviction because it truly is my belief. I will stand by my statements. I will continue to try to get people to see that there is more to the world than maybe is in their world. BUT....I do all this with the knowledge that I myself have to face the decisions between my world and a slightly different one. I do all this with the faith that when those decisions arise, I will take the journey from pain to freedom and say one of those little sentences. Life is a journey that begins with knowing yourself. If you don't know where you stand, if you don't know where things around you are standing, you'll never really know where you are or what direction to travel in. Walking in circles is not much of a journey if you ask me. I'd rather break free and enjoy the sights as my world changes a little with each step. I may not know where I am going, but sometimes, when you really think about it, sometimes it is the journey itself that is the true destination.
    Peace.

You Keep the Oscar. I'll Stay the Grouch

    How can I put this nicely? The modern Academy Awards are....no, there's no nice way to put it. I guess I'll just put it as non-vulgarly as I can. The modern Academy Awards are an absolute joke. It hasn't always been this way. There used to be a time when winning an Oscar meant something. I'm not sure when things changed exactly. At some point, it went from recognizing greatness in the medium of film to just being an insulting party of back slappers and in-crowders boosting egos and celebrating how great they think they are with little regard to the actual films.
    I can still remember the exact Academy Awards Ceremony that was the final straw for me. It was 2001. I was watching it because of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. When I saw that it had won for Best Foreign Language Film, I knew that it was not going to win the Best Picture Award it truly deserved. Even back then, I was cynical enough to know that since it was foreign, the Academy would give it A Best Picture but not THE Best Picture. That was it for me. I was done with them.
    Now, before you go on about my love of foreign film, especially Wu Xia, making me bias, let's look at some of the other mistakes the Academy made in just that one year. Gladiator won Best Picture. Give me a break. That was a piece of crap. It tried to be an Epic and failed. It was so full of cliches and slow and...I could go on and on, but I'll hold myself back. I will admit that I have not seen all of the movies that were nominated, but here's the list. Someone please tell me not only how Gladiator made it onto the list, but how the hell did it win? Gladiator, Chocolat, Erin Brockovich, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, and Traffic were the nominations. Also out that year and nominated in other categories were Cast Away, Requiem for a Dream, Wonder Boys, O Brother Where Art Thou, Pollock, Billy Elliot, etc. etc. etc. Granted, some of those are not Best Picture contenders....wait...what? Cast Away wasn't a Best Picture contender!?! Nope, but you know what was? Sadiator. Get it? Sad because compared to many many films it is just sad. Not sad emotionally, although I'm sure at points they tried to evoke that emotion, but like with so much of that film, they failed.
    Let's just continue our investigation a little further. Best Leading Actor...I just mentioned Cast Away being out that year. Of course Tom Hanks had to of won the Best Leading Actor Oscar. I mean, that movie hinged entirely on him, and he succeeded. I cannot think of any other actor that would have really made that role work. Well, at least the Academy got it right on that one....OH WAIT! NO! NO THEY DIDN'T! Russel Blows...err Crowe won it for Gladiator. Hmm, oh how about Best Costume Design. Did it go to Crouch Tiger? How about a period piece like Quills? I know, a live action Dr. Seuss? Nope. Gladiator again. I know with movies nominated like The Perfect Storm, Cast Away, U 571, and the Patriot, I'm sure Best Sound wouldn't go to Gladiator, except that it did. Best Visual Effect? There were only 3 nominations. Two of them were Hollow Man and The Perfect Storm. Any guesses on what the 3rd nomination was. Hint: it won the award. Hint 2: It didn't deserve it. That's right. Gladiator again.
    Ok, I should probably pick some other mistakes the Academy has made. Let's look at 2011. The biggest travesty was Hailee Steinfeld. If you have not seen the new version of True Grit. Go and see it. Once you see it, maybe you'll be able to explain something to me. The girl in it, Hailee Steinfeld, was in fact nominated for an Oscar. Considering that the entire film centered on her character, it is quite obvious that she is not only A Leading Actress in the film but is THE Leading Actress in the film. One could even go so far as to say that without her character the movie couldn't have been made. She is the cornerstone of the whole thing. It is her story. Jeff Bridges' role is supporting her role. So why in the name of all things holy, did she not get nominated for Best Leading Actress? She was nominated for Best Supporting Actress. WTF!!!! Explain this to me! Explain this to me now! Oh and Jeff Bridges was nominated for Best Leading Actor. So the support gets the lead and the lead gets the support. Neither won by the way.
    It seems commonplace these days for a movie to win multiple awards. In some cases, I'm sure this is appropriate. Well, at least it was back when the awards meant something. The Deer Hunter deserved all of its awards and nominations. That's another thing. The nominations. It used to mean something to have been nominated. Putting that on a DVD case to promote a movie had some value. Back then. It used to be there were 4 maybe 5 nominations for any of the major Oscars. These represented the best. The winner was therefore the best of the best. 2011 had 10, count them 10, nominations for Best Picture. 2012 had 9. 2010 had 10. Damn near every other year, had 5 or less. I'm sorry, but even though there are probably some really good films amongst the 29 nominations over the past 3 years, I'm guessing many of them are not Oscar-worthy. Well, at least they wouldn't be if they were actually held to the standards of the past.
    Now, don't get me wrong. I'm sure there was some back slapping and ego stroking back in the earlier days of the Oscars too. I just don't see where it was nearly as prevalent or as blatant as it is in modern times. Also, just as a little word of warning, not only should you be cautious of any movie claiming nominations and wins as part of its selling points, at least any post a certain time period when the Oscars lost meaning, be sure to check to see what the awards were actually for. I saw a DVD case that spouted the director as being an Academy Award Winner. It was true. He was. It just wasn't in directing. It was for special effects or sound editing or something technical of that sort.
    Oh yeah, and one last thing before I forget. When did the critics and studios start labeling certain movies as "their Oscar contender." It has seriously gotten to the point where instead of just making great film, you can simply make your film a certain way to practically guarantee not only a nomination but an award itself. And this year, the award for best contribution to the degradation of film and its art goes to....Hollywood. Go ahead, stroke your egos and pat your backs. I'll be over here watching good film and spreading the little lesser known gems to people I know who appreciate film. Even if I do it in the most pretentious, cliquey, and snooty way I can, I will be safe in the knowledge that every year, the Academy Awards Ceremony will outdo me.
    Now stop reading my ranting and go watch some good films. Peace.

    It's been a bit since I last blogged. This is really just an update more than anything else. I just spent a week with family visiting. It was fantastic. I'm a bit worn out, especially since I had to wake up rather early this morning in order to get mom to the airport. I had a wonderful time. We all went to the zoo one of the days they were here, and that was great. My niece is so adorable and quite frankly without bragging too much tops the ranks of the smartest 2 year old I've ever met. Her grasp of language at this early age is seriously spooky.
    Anyway, I'm not sure what my next topic will be. I have an idea or two floating around. I'm also contemplating starting a 2nd blog devoted just to reviews of movies and such. I'm thinking of calling it Going Critical with Gnomie Svenson. I'm debating on whether to make it a new blog or just have it be a feature of this blog. We'll see.
    Nothing else really to say. So, peace to all of you.